Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Travelling without your baby

This one is the opposite to the post I wrote about a month ago about travelling WITH your toddler. Turns out travelling without her or him is even harder! Who would've thought...

Although the original plan was to write this post while being in a cozy hotel room with pajamas on and a nice hot cup of tea and unwrapped chocolate beside me,  I’m actually typing this while sitting on a train headed from Budapest to a small town in Slovakia, doing some travelling for work.
I was thinking about how the whole concept of travelling changed for me after I had Allie. Beforehand travelling, any kind of it, was just fun and now I am like a nervous nelly anywhere I am without her.  Especially the plane… Ever since I’ve had Allie, I developed this awful fear of flying. And not that I’ve ever loved flying particularly, but it’s just gotten so much worse!  All I can think about when on the plane is Allie and how if something happens to me she won’t have her mom. That thought just terrifies me… But I know I shouldn’t even think like that and put these thoughts out in the universe. I should think positively and objectively, that the chances are nothing will happen to me on the plane. But it’s actually not just planes. In the pre-Allie era I would have never even thought of that, but now whenever I am in a car with a stranger driver (for example taxi, and especially abroad), I always fasten my seat belt in the rear seat.
But plane or taxi are eventually done and I am still left with this sense of missing Allie and MJ terribly. It’s so hard to say goodbye and luckily MJ understands that I am going away for a bit, I don’t know if Allie does. What is she thinking in her little head when I say goodbye to her and get on a bus and she sees me leave? Although it’s probably not as heartbreaking for her as I think, especially that now when she’s almost 2, I think she starts to understand that I leave temporarily and will be back soon. But I guess it’s mostly just me missing her so badly. So here are my ways to make myself feel better about being away and just comforting  thoughts to think and things to do:
  • It is a great chance for Allie and MJ to bond and have a nice quality father-daughter time.
  • Let's face it, it’s kind of a nice break from cooking, diaper changes, and lack of sleep for me (although not so much lack of sleep on work trips though).
  • Thinking of and shopping for gifts for Allie is somehow comforting.
  • (a weird one) while at a hotel, having cartoons on the background on TV. That’s especially weird, because Allie doesn’t watch cartoons yet, but still it makes me think of her and picture her beside me.
  • Picturing the moment of how we are going to see each other and how fun it will be.
  • Try not to look at moms with strollers on the street or babies eating at restaurants.
  • Skype with Allie and MJ. When she was younger, our Skype sessions would just turn into her getting upset about not being able to hug me, but this trip especially she seems to wise and knowing about my stuff! I am so proud of her, she sees me and chats away and giggles J.
  • No shopping at kid clothes shops. Just gets me depressed that everyone has their kids with them and I don’t.
  • Pretend that the extra pillow on your hotel bed is your baby and cuddle away J

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